Ruscan: Lost
by lemoncookie18
Summary: This will progress furthur, my goal is to write at least 5 chapters but it may be longer. Nyet: no Da: yes Dobroy nochi: good night
1. Chapter 1

Russia's breathing became rapid as he sat in the chair at his desk.  
He was sitting in his home office, halfway through reading some document about trade changes with England, when everything suddenly went black. He froze in place and his mind went blank, he wasn't sure what was going on, maybe the power had gone out? Impossible, he had generators, it would have been on again by now. Did the light break? No, he hadn't heard the bulb shatter, and he was sure he had just replaced that light. Wait wasn't it still light outside? Even if the light did go out he still would have been able to see. So… What was this?  
He hears a knock on the door before it opens, he looks up in the direction of the sound but still can't see a thing. Perhaps the generators weren't working? Maybe he had lost track of the time and it really was night.  
"Da?" Russia wanted to know who was in the room with him and what had happened but he didn't want to sound scared. The Russian Federation was never scared.  
"Mr. Russia, I was informed by your boss that you will not be attending the world meeting in France tomorrow afternoon." It was Estonia, but why wasn't he mentioning the power outage?  
"Da, you will still be going?" He inquired.  
"Yes, you are the only one not attending." He still wasn't talking about the power.  
"Estonia, when did we have the generators checked last?" It would appear Russia would have to force the information out of him.  
"Last month, why?" Estonia asked, he sounded confused.  
It was at that moment that Russia realized that whatever was happening was only happening to him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hit something or cry at the realisation.  
"Da, good. Winter storm season is coming up soon and I want to be sure that we are prepared… In fact…" Russia straightened in his chair and set his hands in his lap, still looking in the direction of Estonia's voice. He couldn't let anyone else know. "I would like you, Latvia and Lithuania to stay in western Europe this winter. Think of it as a vacation." He smiled and closed his eyes like he always did when he wanted people to know that he was not asking. He heard a small gasp and an audible swallow.  
"R-Really?! A vacation! Thank you Mr. Russia, I'll go tell them now!" He heard Estonia turn around and the door creak back open. Russia opened his eyes and looked towards the smaller nation once again.  
"Estonia." He said with a firm voice.  
"Y-Yes?" Russia could practically hear the man shiver.  
"Be sure you are all out of the house by tonight." Russia's voice was stern and there was no room for argument.  
"Y-Yes Sir." The door shuts and Russia is alone once again. He buries his face in his hands and closes his eyes, opens them, and closes them again. Russia felt sick, he didn't know what to do, so he sat, and he cried.  
Russia had gone blind.

-

Canada sighed as he walked through the airport, his bear clinging to his back. The meetings had been normal and exhausting as always, America shouting about aliens and talking with his mouth full, Germany's face turning red in irritation before he shouted for everyone to be quiet. It didn't work. France and England fighting the entire time and not a single person noticed him. The only thing different seemed to be the lack of an intimidating purple aura that is usually caused by a certain large Russian nation. He had not been there for any of the three days even though the baltics had been, Canada wondered where his fellow northern nation had been.  
A crowd of people suddenly flock around him, nearly trampling him in the process. His flight is announced over the loudspeaker in a muffled French voice that he could barely understand, he rushes through the flight gate to avoid getting crushed by the crowd of people and takes his seat. Normally he would have to show his identification as the personification of Canada in place of his flight ticket, nations were allowed to fly for free anywhere, but no one seemed to notice him anyway so he simply stepped onto the plane.  
He slouched in his seat with Kumajiro on his lap, staring at the ceiling of the plane, it wasn't long before he fell asleep.

Canada opened his eyes to the sound of angry voices, no not angry, it was a different language. He looked around and saw that people were getting off the plain, did he really sleep for ten hours? He stands up and picks up Kumajiro, quickly turning to leave the plain, but as soon as he exits the terminal a gust of frozen air hits him in the face. Kumajiro buries his face into Canada's coat as the Canadian man grabs his bag. This wasn't right, the air in his home smelled like damp leaves and fresh water even in the dead of winter, this air smelt stale, as if it had been frozen for a long time.  
Canada listened in on a conversation across the aisle from him, the voices sounded deep and growly with words that hitch and change pitch in strange places and the phrases sounded painful to try and pronounce. He listens for any words he may recognize but soon realizes that the language is completely foreign to him, the tone sounded familiar though… It sounded Russian. Was he in Russia?!  
Canada leaves the airport building and steps outside into the cold air, how had he gotten on the wrong plain?! God he felt like an idiot! True the voice over the speaker had been hard to hear but still! How the hell is he gonna get home? He can't just get back on the plain, he can't tell them who he is, and they probably don't speak or read English of French. Damnit.  
"What are we gonna do Kumanemo?" Canada sighed, hugging his bear tight to his chest and burying his face in the soft white fur. He perks up suddenly, remembering his thoughts from just before he got on the plain back in Paris, "I know! I can just go see Russia, he can help me!" Canada looks around and realizes that he recognizes this area, he remembers coming here for the Summit Series back in 1972, that was back when Russia was still the USSR but Moscow hadn't changed much.  
Canada slowly made his way to Russia's house, bear in one arm and bag in the other. As night began to fall it got colder, Canada was used to cooler climates but when his breath started to freeze in his lungs and his exposed skin burned from the wind he knew he needed to hurry, he would rather not be found in the ice.

"Russia!" Canada shouted after the third time he knocked on the giant oak doors, what was taking him so long? He waited only a few moments more before simply pulling on the handle, both pleased and worried to find it unlocked.  
He squeezed his way through the heavy doors before quickly closing them again, sighing happily at the warm air around him. He puts his bag down and places Kumajiro on the floor before walking up to the great staircase.  
"Russia? Are you here?" He shouted up, already feeling bad that he had come in without permission and slightly scared that if he startled the large Russian man that he might end up speared with that pipe of his.  
A crash suddenly sounds from the living room area along with the sound of glass breaking. Canada rushes into the room to see the oversized man in a startled heap on the floor next to the couch, the coffee table was crushed underneath of his large frame and there was a shattered bottle pouring its contents on the hardwood floor making the whole room smell like alcohol, Canada looked to Russia again and was shocked. The man looked as if he hadn't shaved in days, his normally pale skin looked ashy instead of its usually pink hue and his eyes, always bright and attentive, were blown wide and dull, distant. The man looked terrible.  
Canada carefully steps over the growing puddle of alcohol and drops to his knees next to Russia, carefully helping the larger male sit back up.  
"Russia are you ok? What happened?" Canada asks softly.  
Russia lets out a groan before answering, holding his head and frowning, "I was sitting… and then I… was on the floor."  
Canada blinked, in any other situation he would have found Russia's response funny but seeing this normally strong and graceful nation in the condition he was in, it saddened him.  
"Russia… are you ok?" Canada was scared, he was usually never worried about other nations but Russia was different, he was supposed to be one of the strongest nations in the world, he was supposed to be intimidating and unphasable, he was supposed to show no weakness or regret and yet here he was looking helpless. It was scary.  
Russia did not answer right away, he frowned and twiddled his thumbs, he hadn't looked directly at Canada yet and he bit his lip.  
"Who… Who are you?" He finally asks, Canada sighs in frustration. Of course Russia didn't remember him.  
"I'm Canada, America's brother."  
"...Canada?" Russia's face twists in confusion, "I'm sorry, I do not remember you."  
"I know, it's okay." Canada stands up and holds his hand out to help Russia up but Russia just continues to sit and stare forward. "Russia?" Canada's brow furrows and he watches the other man closely.  
"Da?" Russia asks but remains still, something clicks suddenly in Canada's mind.  
"Can… Are you blind?" As soon as the question left his mouth Canada wanted to snatch the words out of the air and crush them under his boot, the silence that hung in the air felt like ice and Canada swore he felt the room's temperature drop as he watched the Russian man stiffen in place and stop breathing.  
"Da." The answer was short and the tone was cold but it held a sadness and regret that Canada hadn't seen since the end of WWII. Russia didn't speak after that though and he seemed to be waiting for Canada to say something, Canada had no idea what.  
"Uh… Does anyone else know?" The question sounded stupid to Canada and when Russia let out a humorless chuckle he knew the answer was obvious.  
"Nyet, I would not have told you if you had not figured it out. It happened a few days ago and I have been… incapable to leave my house or speak with my boss." The words came out forced, as if it physically pained Russia to admit he couldn't do something. Canada could understand that, after all Russia and his brother had been trying to best each other since before the atomic bomb, If America had found out about this he would never let Russia or anyone else hear the end of it.  
Canada didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do, Russia was blind. Just the idea of the powerful nation being so helpless in his own home, stumbling around for days and disoriented, it was both horrifying and saddening. Canada places a hand over Russia's lightly until the frozen nation takes it and stands, but when Canada tries to let go Russia grips tighter.  
"Russia… Do you, uh… Do you want me to help?" The silence continued for a moment before Russia gives a slight nod, still frowning. He tilts his head down and turns it just slightly to hear Canada better.  
"I would like to go to bed." His voice was quiet and he sounded exhausted, Canada nodded to himself and tried to remember where Russia's room was.  
After walking up the stairs and searching a bit they finally arrived at the large room. Canada gawked at the size of it, he hadn't remembered how big everything in Russia's house was. The room was bigger than Canada's kitchen and dining rooms combined and not only held the huge four post bed but a white couch and loveseat that sat across from each other in front of a brick fireplace, the carpet was a lush red colour and the bed sheets were white like the couch. Hanging on the walls were paintings of, not his previous bosses or a portrait of himself as Canada had expected, but of fields of flowers and stunning sunsets.  
Once Russia felt the bed against his leg he let go of Canada's hand and started removing his wrinkled coat, carefully placing it at the end of the bed before sitting to take off his boots. Canada watched him quietly, wondering what to do next.  
"Do you want anything else?" Canada asks with a nervous chuckle.  
"Nyet… Will you be staying here?" Russia sounded hopeful but Canada brushed it off as his imagination.  
"Um, yeah, if you want."  
"...Da, you will wake me at 7 o'clock?" Canada knew it was a request and not a demand but his tone made it hard to want to argue. Even if Canada wanted to sleep a little more than that.  
"Alright…" He walks towards the door before turning back to look at the Russian man laying in his bed, looking so small all of a sudden. "Good night Russia."  
"...Dobroy nochi, Canada." He had paused before saying the name but he had remembered, Canada knew he had no idea who he was talking to but still. Canada smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

"Russia… Russia…" Russia awoke to a soft whisper, the voice sweet but obviously still groggy.

"Da?" He grunts and sits up slowly, opening his eyes before remembering his current ailment. He frowns.

"You asked me to wake you up… Canada, remember?" The younger nation asks hopefully.

"Canada… Da, I remember." Vaguely, he couldn't exactly put a face to the name but that didn't really matter at this point.

Canada smiled even though he knew Russia couldn't see it, he was glad the man at least remembered his presence, he placed his hand lightly over Russia's shoulder. "Alright, let's get you dressed."

When Russia heard that he jerked away from Canada's hand as if it burned, he looked to where he thought Canada's face was and scowled heavily, "Mne ne nuzhna tvoya pomoshch, Rebenok." Canada had no clue what was said but there was a venom in his voice that screamed _back off_.

Canada took a step away from the bed as Russia got up and began dressing himself, fumbling a little before figuring out how to work the buttons of his shirt, deciding to leave his coat off today.

"...Sorry." Canada wasn't quite sure what to say so he just stayed quiet, Russia then turned his head towards him and Canada swore the man could see him.

"Da, do you know where the kitchen is?" Russia felt a little bad for snapping at Canada but he did not need to be babied, and he refused to show weakness regardless of how he felt.

"Uh, yeah, I think so… Do you, like, want to hold my hand? Or something…" Canada's voice trailed off but Russia shook his head so Canada turned and began walking out the door, Russia close behind him.

When they got to the stairs though Canada stopped. Russia bumped into him lightly before taking a step back.

"Why have we stopped?" He no longer sounded irritated but the light tone in his voice sent a shiver down Canada's spine.

"Um… The, uh… Stairs?" Canada didn't mean it to sound like a question and he wanted to slap himself when it came out as one.

"I know how to walk down stairs." Russia sounded very unamused, Canada swallowed the lump in his throat and started down the stairs. Once Russia heard the creaking of Canada's steps he took the first step forward, carefully placing his foot on the first step, then the second.

Curiously Canada glances back at the other nation, amused to see the large man being so careful and hesitant with each step, looking very much like an overgrown child. Canada laughs lightly but freezes again as Russia's head snaps up towards the sound.

"Are you laughing at me?" He didn't sound angry like Canada thought he would though, he sounded genuinely curious.

"U-Uh, I… I was just… Please don't be mad." Canada stuttered, unsure of how to respond.

"Nyet, I am not mad. What is funny?" He had stopped a few steps from the bottom, looking forward over Canada's head with unseeing and yet curious eyes.

"Oh, you were just… You looked kinda… Like a big kid." Damnit, Canada had always had a bad habit of mumbling, he watched Russia's face for any reaction or sign that he might want to run.

Russia made no move to attack him, he also showed no sign of anger, instead he smiled. It was faint but Canada was sure he saw it and he smiled as well, glad that he hadn't angered the other man.

After a little navigation on Canada's part and Russia, to his embarrassment, nearly running into a doorway they finally arrived at the kitchen. Russia sat himself at the large table situated in the middle of the room and Canada looks at the stove hesitantly.

"Uh, what should I cook? I can make pretty good pancakes or some eggs or something." He asked, turning to see Russia looking directly at him, eyes staring through him. Canada shivered, Russia was pretty creepy.

"I do not care." He still sounded depressed and it made Canada's chest tighten, he may not be friends with Russia but no one deserved to be so sad, so lost in their own home.

"Alright." That was the last thing said for a while as Canada searched Russia's cupboards and fridge for ingredients.

"Food." The voice of the small bear startled Canada for a moment and he turned around too quickly, causing the bag of flower that had been on the counter next to him to fall. Canada managed to catch it clumsily but there was still quite a bit on the floor and he groaned in annoyance, about to scold the bear cub when he saw what was going on.

Russia was sitting in the same chair but his head was tilted down towards his leg where the tiny polar bear was looking up at him expectantly, front paws resting on his leg to hold himself up. Russia reached down and for a moment Canada thought he might hurt Kumajiro, that was his name, but Russia simply lifted the small white ball of fur onto his lap and tilted his head down at him.

"I do not have any food." He said to the pleading bear cub, and Canada could swear he saw an adoring look flash across Russia's face. The bear however did not listen and propped his feet up on the large nation's chest, nuzzling his face against the scarf draped around his neck.

"Food?" The little creature asked again and Russia smiled sweetly at him, petting his fur gently.

Canada thought his heart would burst as he watches the two, Russia was so gentle, seemed so harmless. He shook his head before turning back to clean up the flour and continue cooking.

"His name is Kumajiro, he seems to like you."

Russia looked up out of habit, he always tried to look at people when they were talking to him, and he smiled, wondering if Canada was looking at him. "He is very soft… I like him too." Canada's heart melted.

Once their food was done Canada made a plate for him and Russia and a small one for Kumajido, setting it on the floor and watching the ball of fur jump down from the larger man's lap before taking his own seat next to him. Canada began to eat, savoring the taste of homemade pancakes, Russia didn't have any syrup but the butter and honey he had drowned them in would do for now. From the corner of his eye Canada could see Russia biting his lip, his brows furrowed and hands in his lap, Canada held in a sigh.

"Russia, do you need help?" He asks softly, setting his own fork down.

"Nyet, I do not…" He stopped, biting his lip before sighing and closing his unseeing eyes, "Da…"

Canada smirked a little, he could tell that Russia didn't want to admit he needed help but he was coming to terms with his current condition. That thought triggered a question in his mind, how had this happened in the first place? Did his boss know? Canada bit his lip as he scooted closer, taking Russia's fork and cut a piece of pancake with it and holding it in front of the other nation's mouth.

"Ah." Canada said, signaling Russia to open his mouth. Hesitantly, Russia opened his mouth and waited, cheeks red and obviously embarrassed as he closed his mouth around the bite of food. Canada removed the fork and waited as Russia chewed, watching as his face went from embarrassed to surprised.

"This is very good!" He said happily, beaming at Canada over a simple pancake. Canada couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you, it would be better with maple syrup but honey is good too." Canada felt something soft brush against his leg and glanced down to see Kumadio had finished his food.

"Who are you?" The bear asked curiously. Canada sighed, about to answer as he always did but was interrupted.

"This is Canada, little one." Russia answered with a calm voice, then his head tilted toward Canada. "He is your pet, da? Why does he not know you?" It was a simple question but Canada had to think about a good explanation as he fed Russia another bite.

"People… Forget me… I don't know why." Russia didn't look satisfied with that answer so Canada continued. "Like you, you didn't remember me when I came here. You sat on me at a meeting a few decades ago because you couldn't see or hear me." Russia could hear the sad tone in Canada's voice and, although he still didn't remember the events that Canada spoke of, he felt bed.

"I see…" Russia chuckled but there was no humor in his voice. "Well, I don't but… I do not know why people would forget you, you are very kind." Canada's breath caught in his throat, no one had ever said something like that to him before. He blushed lightly.

"Thank you." They were quiet for a moment before Canada cleared his throat. "Russia… How did this happen?"

Russia was silent for a while, then he sighed. "I do not know. I was filling out paperwork and then everything got dark…" He tried to figure out how long ago it was but he hadn't been able to tell the time of day. "It was the day before the world meeting… I do not know what day it is now." Canada's eyes went wide.

"Russia… That was five days ago… Do you know if this is… Permanent?"

"…I think so…"


	3. Chapter 3

After their, slightly awkward, breakfast Canada began washing dishes and Russia walked out to the front room to try and relax. Russia sat on his couch and listened to the sound of water running in the kitchen sink, petting the small bear on his lap. He still couldn't remember what Canada looked like, it was driving him crazy not to know who he was talking to. He began searching his long memory for any faces that he thought may belong to the unknown nation but still there was nothing. As he sat, deep in thought, he didn't notice the water stop and the light sound of footsteps coming into the room.

Canada watches Russia silently, his eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed and his lips in a slight pout as he tries to think. Canada smiles a little and walks forward to sit next to Russia on the couch, Russia opens his eyes and turns his head towards him, frowning a little.

"What do you look like?" Russia asks, still frowning.

The question surprised Canada a bit, Why would Russia care what he looked like? Was he trying to remember who he was? Canada's heart swelled at the thought that someone would care enough to try and remember him.

"Well, I have shoulder length blond hair, It's the same colour as France's, pale skin and blue eyes. I also have round glasses with red frames." Canada explained the best he could but he could tell by Russia's expression that he needed more, Canada bit his lip. "If you want… uh…" Russia cocked his head to the side as Canada gently lifted his hand from petting Kumafika, Canada gently pinched the fingertip of his glove and slowly removed it. Canada's eyes widened.

Russia's fingers were pale of course but they were rough with the calluses of a worker and covered in scars, his nails were bitten and Canada could only imagine what had caused all this, truth be told he'd never actually seen Russia do and kind of physical labour.

Russia waited patiently as Canada stared, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his hands were so torn and damaged. In reality the large nation was focusing on the feeling of Canada's hands on his, the younger man's skin was so soft, so smooth, and the feeling was almost foreign to him.

Canada brought Russia's hand up to his face, leaning his cheek against the large palm and waiting. Russia began to move his fingerpads lightly across the younger man's face, tracing his jaw, his nose, his eyes, when he ran his thumb over Canada's lower lip he felt the other's warm breath on his skin, he shivered slightly and wondered if Canada was watching him. Russia listened to the other's breathing, feeling it run over his skin and he swore Canada's breathing sped up. He wondered if the other's heart was beating as fast as his.

Kumajiro pawed at Russia's chest, wondering why the hand had stopped petting him, and Russia pulls his hand away. He hears Canada let out a deep sigh and feels his glove placed into his hand, Russia thanks him and pulls the glove back on.

"You… remind me of America." Russia states, sounding disappointed in this discovery.

"Yeah, he's my brother… Cuba and England always confuse me with him…" Canada sighs.

"…It is not a bad thing… America is a very beautiful country." Russia felt his face get a bit hot and prayed that Canada didn't notice. "And you do not act like him, you are much smarter, and you are a better cook." He smiles, hoping it doesn't look creepy.

Canada blushes and can't help but smile, Russia is honestly so cute sometimes, he clears his throat and stands. "Um… If you need help with anything else I don't really have anything to do…"

"Well, I need to finish that paperwork but I am not sure you could help with that. My government system is very complicated, da." Russia stands aswell and begins walking to his office, "And besides, you do not speak russian."

Canada followed him back up the stairs and down the hall, he had no idea how Russia knew his way around so well, Canada didn't think he could navigate his own home if he were to go blind, and Russia's house was far bigger than his. When they arrived at the small home office Canada sat down in the seat on the opposite side of the large oak desk and watched as Russia sat in the leather chair, placing his hands on the desk and straightening papers the best he could.

"Russia, how are you supposed to do this without someone to read them to you?" Canada raises an eyebrow, honestly Russia had to realize that he couldn't do everything on his own anymore or nothing would ever get done.

Russia doesn't speak, he simply sits with his head bowed towards the desk. "But you cannot read Russian." He states simply, sounding quite depressed.

"Doesn't your boss know? He could help, or send someone to help." Canada suggests, he knew that Russia's boss could be a bit… Strict… But surely he would help his own country in his time of need.

"Nyet, and you will not tell him. He would not let me do anything for myself, and I do not need the help of a huma-"

"But you do need help." Canada cut him off and Russia bit his tongue. "You could teach me russian, I learn really quickly and if you don't want anyone to know then I'm your best shot."

Russia didn't speak for awhile, then he pointed to a tall shelf filled with books. "There is a whiteboard behind that shelf, roll it over here and we will begin your first lesson."

Canada stood and walked over to the shelf, sure enough there was a whiteboard on a stand with wheels folded behind it, the marker and eraser attached to the side. He rolled it over to Russia's side and handed him the marker and eraser, sitting back in his chair and waiting quietly.

"There are ten vowels, five hard and five soft, they will tell you the sound of the consonant in front of it." He wrote the word soft on the whiteboard with: я, е, ё, ю and и under it and the word hard with: а, э, ы, у and о under it. "For today we will work on your pronunciation."

For the next hour Russia drilled the sounds into Canada's head along with having him write the cyrillic letters on a piece of paper and having him repeat the 'oo' vowel fifty times in a row because he, "Sounded like France pretending to be a cow." Canada wasn't quite sure what that meant but he couldn't help but laugh.

"This is a lot harder than I thought, no wonder russians always sound so angry." Russia laughed at that, not his normal childlike giggle but a true deep chested laugh. Canada smiled, watching Russia with bright eyes, it was nice to see this side of the frozen nation.

"Da, we do sound a bit scary to the softer languages. But I assure you there is nothing to fear from us." Russia commented, still chuckling, he wiped off the whiteboard and placed the marker and eraser on his desk. "I think that will be all for today." Canada watched as the man stood from his seat and walked to the door. "What time is it?"

Canada glanced at his watch, "Eleven o'clock. Do you want to start on lunch or is there something else you need to do?"

"Well we did not get much work done here today but that is understandable, it is getting warm out, we could go work in the garden." Russia tilted his head towards the ceiling in thought, Canada shivered at the thought of going outside again. Was Russia crazy?! In what world was negative 10 warm?! Still, he couldn't tell the man no, it was his home after all and if Russia needed to feel productive, useful in his handicapped state, then Canada would help in any way he could.

The walked for awhile, Canada following Russia and making sure the man didn't run into or trip over anything. When they finally reached what Canada assumed to be the back entrance Russia pushed the door open and stepped outside, not even bothering to put on shoes let alone a coat, Canada rushed after him to remind him but stopped once he saw why. Russia was running barefoot through the snow before disappearing into a huge greenhouse, one nearly the size of Canada's home. Canada ran in after him and was surprised by how warm it was inside the protective glass walls, and the reason for the size quickly became apparent.

There was no floor beneath his feet, only soft grass and a few patches of moss, the air was warm and the sun shown through the glass in bright, welcoming rays, but the true marvel was the seemingly endless rows of bright sunflowers twice as tall as Canada, their golden petals looking down at him in a comforting stare.

"They are beautiful, da." Russia's voice snapped Canada out of his trance, he looked towards the other nation, about to speak, but stopped when he saw the sad little smile on Russia's lips. "They are called Russkiy Podsolnukh Mamonta, Russian Mammoth Sunflower, they get ten feet tall and require the support of the other flowers to stay standing. If you try to grow just one it will fall and die, they need the help of others to grow and thrive."

Canada could see tears welling up in Russia's eyes, the whole moment seemed so surreal, Russia was crying. Before he realized what he was doing Canada felt himself walking towards the other man, arms wrapping around him as they both sank to their knees, surrounded by the tall flowers.

"I cannot see them Canada. I cannot see the flowers." Russia buried his face in Canada's chest and clung to him, Canada stroked his hair gently and whispered to him.

"It's gonna be ok Russia, you are gonna be ok. I promise." Canada waited for Russia's breathing to even out and his own heart to calm down. How could such a strong nation be reduced to this? He had no idea Russia was so fragile, so alone, so much different than he had thought.

They sat there for awhile, under the protection of the sunflowers, before Canada leaned back and placed his hand over Russia's cheek, tilting his head up as if to look into his eyes, Russia leaned into the hand. "Let's go inside alright, I think we both need to relax." Russia closed his eyes and nodded.

"Da."


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm going to freeze to death._

This was the only thought present in Russia's mind at the moment. His long limbs were bare and the only thing providing any warmth was a thin pair of shorts and his scarf. The snow was up to his knees and rising rapidly thanks to the storm that currently raged around him, wind and ice biting at his bare skin and burning it red. His lips were cracked and his throat sore from trying, desperately, to shout over the wind roaring in his ears, but the sound disappeared into the snow around him.

He stumbled through the blinding white, unable to keep his footing, legs aching from over exertion. He could feel his eyes glazing over as they froze but he couldn't bring himself to close them, afraid they would never open again. He tried desperately to see anything other than white, straining his burning eyes he could see something in the distance. He felt a sudden surge of energy and hope, running as fast as he could towards the glowing golden light, determined to get to it before the blizzard destroyed it.

When he was a few feet in front of the glowing object Russia collapsed, energy gone and body frozen. He laid there, face down in the snow, waiting to die, when he felt something touch his back. A sudden heat filled him and electric shocks spread from the place he was touched, a great comfort in the cold wasteland he was surrounded by, he lifted his head to see what had saved him. It was a person, a man to be exact, but beyond that he couldn't make out any features. He squinted his eyes and tried to speak but his vision only got worse and the only sound that left him was a painful squeak.

"Shhh~ Yo… I w…" The man's voice was soft and sweet but Russia couldn't figure out what he was saying. The man knelt beside him, rubbing his back gently and sending that warmth through him.

"S-Spaci-bo…" Russia choked out as his vision finally went black.

Canada sighed as he filled the bath with warm water, he was sitting on the floor with Russia's body leaned against the opposite wall, he had fallen asleep the moment he sat down. Canada watched him quietly as he waited for the tub to fill, watching the slow rise and fall of this chest. Once the tub was full he leaned over to turn off the water before he heard Russia whining.

Russia was whining, his face looking pained and he was shivering, Canada reached out and touched his shoulder, steadying him and Russia seemed to relax.

"Shhh~ You're ok Russia. I will take care of you." Canada spoke quietly. After a moment he heard Russia speak.

"S-Spaci-bo…"

Canada blinked, he wasn't certain but he thought that meant thank you. Could Russia hear him? Canada was pretty sure Russia was asleep.

Canada shook his head, standing and trying to wake the sleeping nation, Russia seemed alarmed for a moment but calmed down quickly.

"I filled the bath, I figured it might help." Canada says quietly.

"Spacibo Canada." Russia thanks him, confirming Canada's previous thoughts.

"Do you… Want any help?" Canada asked hesitantly, remembering the previous times he had offered.

Russia paused for a moment before speaking. "Da, I can get changed by myself but… I will need help." Canada was shocked, Russia just admitted weakness without a fight. Maybe he was coming to terms with his blindness.

"Ok well… Just tell me what to do." Canada smiled.

Russia stood from the bathroom floor, biting his lip and glancing towards the floor before reaching down and gripping the hem of his shirt. Canada blushed as he watched the other man slowly peel off his shirt, his pale skin revealing itself inch by inch as the fabric slid up and over his head. Canada held back a surprised gasp as he looked at Russia's chest, scarred from centuries of wars, harsh conditions and cruel rulers. The scars covered his chest in random overlapping patterns, shining an almost silver colour in contrast to his already pale skin. The scars were no detraction from Canada's current focus though, and he blushed more and thanked whatever god may be listening that Russia couldn't see him.

Russia wasn't fat like the other nations had thought, the coat and turtlenecks that he always wore certainly made it seem that way but now that he was bare chested Canada could see that he was nothing but solid muscle. The pale skin stretched over tightly coiled muscles gave the already large man an even larger appearance, adding to his ability to intimidate the much smaller Canadian as well as make his pants seem a little tighter than before. Canada's eyes traveled lower to Russia's hips, the pants clinging to them tightly, showing off his slight curves and hanging low enough to show a small trail of ash blonde hair leading from his navel to below the hem of his dark jeans.

Then Russia took them off too.

Canada let out an audible squeak and quickly turned around, covering his face with his hands and biting his lip, trying desperately to slow his breathing.

"Canada? Are you ok?!" Russia sounded very worried but Canada was too embarrassed to respond. He was just looking at the man like his next sexual meal! How the hell do you explain that to someone?! "Canada?" Damnit, he sounded so sweet and concerned and- No! He was not getting hard from this! Fucking French roots!

"I-I'm alright. Just… do you need something?" Canada choked out.

"Da… Can you tie my scarf up?" He sounded embarrassed now, wait… He wears his scarf in the bath?

"Y-Yeah." Canada turns around to face Russia again, keeping his eyes locked on the older man's face and refusing to look down. Russia turned around, back facing Canada and waited, Canada quickly and carefully tied the long scarf into a bow at the back of his neck and then backed up and turned around again. He heard the movement of the water and a relaxed sigh come from Russia as he sank into the warm water.

"Canada, if you are uncomfortable being around me while naked then you may leave." Canada bites his tongue, he's about to respond when Russia speaks again, his voice a bit softer. "I understand not wanting to see me like this, I know the scars look painful."

Canada paused before speaking, thinking of his words carefully. "They don't look painful, and it's not that anyway."

"Then what is it?" Russia asked, curious. Canada wanted to smack himself, guess he didn't pick as carefully as he thought.

"Well I… Um…" Canada sighed before turning around with his eyes closed and kneeling down next to the tub. "I'm just a little embarrassed I guess." Canada admitted.

"Why would you be embarrassed? I am the one that is naked." Russia asked innocently, could the man really not know?

"Well… You look… A lot better than me." It wasn't a lie, it wasn't the real reason but it certainly wasn't a lie.

"…I do not understand… You think I am attractive?" Damnit he is so cute! Canada bit his lip, not sure how to respond.

"You… You're a different kind of attractive than I am. I guess I'm more cute than sexy…" He admits, still not looking at the Russian.

"…You think I am sexy?" Canada nearly chokes on air, coughing from the shock of what he just heard. _God damnit!_

"Well- I just- I-"

"Canada." Russia cuts off his stuttering, reaching a hand out and finding his shoulder before sliding the still wet fingers up his neck gently. "You do not need to be embarrassed, I know that I am… Attractive… There is no reason for you to hide your feelings or opinions…" His large, calloused hand rests at the back of Canada's neck and his fingers trail lightly through his soft hair. "It is the same as lying, and no one likes a liar." Then he removes his hand and Canada opens his eyes in surprise.

Russia's bath was large, it had to be in order to fit such a large nation, but still his feet rest at one end, legs slightly bent and back resting against the opposite side, unable to lie down fully. The water was clear but there was steam rising off it into the air, his knees stuck out just slightly and the water barely came up to his chest. His hair was wet from the steam and where he had trailed wet fingers through it, his cheeks were just a little red but Canada couldn't tell if it was a blush or just from the heat. His wet skin glistened in the incandescent lights and his muscles relaxed giving him the appearance of being asleep if not for his open eyes, which were shining a soft violet. As Canada's eyes trailed lower his cheeks got redder and his eyes got wider, if Canada were human he might think Russia a god.

Canada couldn't speak, he couldn't move, he was frozen in shock. Russia was… Beautiful… His breath was gone as he simply watched the nation sit and wait for some type of response.

"I… I um…" Canada cleared his throat, "I might… I like you… But I don't want things to be… Awkward."

Russia smiled a little. "I am glad, I like you as well Canada, but I am not interested in having a relationship at the moment." He admits.

"No, I'm not either… I just, wanted you to know… Maybe when we get this all figured out…"

"Da…" Russia agrees.

After Russia was dressed Canada led him back to the kitchen to make lunch, well it was more like dinner but either way. Neither of them were tired so when Canada suggested a movie Russia agreed wholeheartedly. Canada searched through Russia's, rather extensive, movie collection for something in English and Russia sat on the couch patiently.

"We should watch Finding Nemo, da." Russia suggested, nearly bouncing in his seat with excitement.

"You like Finding Nemo?" Canada was surprised, he didn't think the former communist nation would like american movies.

"Da! It is in Russian but it may help you learn!" Canada chuckled at the sight of the large man, smiling and bouncing on the couch.

Canada found the movie and placed it in the small DVD player, pressing play and walking back to the couch so sit beside Russia. As the movie played Canada could see Russia mouthing along the words while listening, the only reason Canada knew what was going on was because he had seen the movie before. The voices were strange and the syllables still sounded painful to him but when Russia started speaking along with it Canada felt himself relax. When speaking English Russia's voice was higher pitched and almost child like, making him seem a bit… Creepy. But when he spoke his native tongue his voice was deep and resonated in his chest, making a shiver run down Canada's spine and goosebumps rise on his skin.

The movie was almost over when Russia felt Canada lean into him. He stiffened and stopped speaking, not sure what the other man was doing.

"Canada?" He spoke softly, Canada didn't respond. "Canada, are you asleep?" Still no response. Russia smiled a little, glad that the other nation trusted him enough to fall asleep. Russia carefully wrapped an arm around Canada and relaxed back into the couch, eyes feeling heavy before finally falling asleep. The last thing he hear was the sound of the movie clicking off on its own.


	5. Chapter 5

Canada was woken up by a light shake to his shoulder. He peeled his eyes open and groaned groggily, pressing his face into the pillows. Only it didn't feel like a pillow, it felt like a firm chest, it also smelled really good, like earth and spice. He took a deep breath through his nose, inhaling the calming smell and closing his eyes to go back to sleep. A deep chuckle sounds through the room and whatever Canada's head is resting on vibrates with the deep sound.  
"Canada~ You have to get up~" Russia purred, Canada opened his eyes again and looked up to his face in acknowledgement before snuggling back into the larger nation's chest, mumbling a half hearted 'I'm tired'. "You have to go to your bed, you will sleep better there." Russia insisted.  
Canada had always had a reluctance to get up in the morning, something about being tired made him forget things and often act childish, and right now he was very tired.  
"I d'n w'na." He slurred out in a barely audible voice. "Carry me."  
Russia's eyes widened, he was not expecting such a request. After a moment of silent contemplation Russia wrapped one arm around Canada's shoulders and the other under his knees, picking him up with ease and carrying him up the grand staircase. Canada wrapped his tired arms around Russia's neck and relaxed into the embrace, trusting Russia not to drop him or run into anything. Russia felt his face heat up a bit and, distracted by the small and extremely cuddly nation in his arms, accidentally walks to his room instead of Canada's. Cursing under his breath Russia moves to turn around, only stopped by Canada as the nation mutters something inaudible.  
"What did you say?"  
"W'na s'e' wi' yo…" Canada trailed off again.  
"Chto?" Russia whispers, curious and confused, Canada shifts in his arms a bit before answering.  
"I wanna sleep with you."  
Russia was silent, feeling the blush spread down his neck as he processed the simple statement. Canada wanted to be near him, cuddled up by his side and sleeping peacefully. The thought was… adorable. He couldn't help himself from smiling as he opened the door and walked towards the bed, setting Canada down before crawling in next to him. Canada immediately rolled over and wrapped his arms around Russia's chest and laid his head on a firm shoulder, smelling him again and smiling as he fell asleep. Russia wrapped his arms around the man who was currently invading his bed, feeling the heat from his body and relaxing into the soft embrace.

Sunlight shown through the curtains onto Russia's face, but that isn't what woke Russia from his peaceful slumber. The smell of food wafted through the air, invading his nostrils and making his mouth water. It smelled just like the eggs and butter ham that his older sister used to make him. He stood up from the warm confines of his bed and changed into a turtleneck and sweatpants before walking downstairs and following the scent to the kitchen. He pulled a chair away from the small table and sat down, picking up Kumajiro when he brushed against his leg.  
"Good morning Russia." Canada mumbles, obviously still tired. There was an audible sizzle and pop of the meat cooking on the stove and Russia closed his eyes and just took in the smell and sound of cooking food.  
"Da, dobroye utro. How did you sleep Canada?" Russia asks, opening his eyes and turning his head towards the sound of the stove.  
Canada blushes a bit, remembering how he had woken up pressed against a firm chest and wrapped in strong arms. He smiles lightly, "Good. Better than I have in a long time actually."  
Russia smiled at hearing that, petting the small bear asleep in his lap and remembering the warmth of Canada's skin against his, the feel of his soft hair tickling his nose, and the smell of damp leaves and maple. He remembers how Canada had said people always forget him and he holds back the noise of resentment in his throat. How could anyone forget someone so sweet and kind and smart and…  
"Russia?" Canada breaks him from his thoughts. "Your food is ready, do you want help again?"  
Russia nods absentmindedly, waiting for the sound of metal scraping glass and the light press of something warm against his lips. He opens his mouth and takes the offered bite, humming happily at the taste of the warm food.  
"I found an old cookbook in the cupboard, that's where I got the recipe for the ham." Canada took a bite of his own food and chewed slowly, talking around the bite, "I think it turned out ok."  
Russia was surprised, eyes widening a bit out of habit, "But that book is in Russian, how did you read it?"  
Canada chuckled and fed Russia another bite. "I just looked at the pictures, I'm not that good yet." Russia chuckled too.  
"Da, it is very good, thank you."

Canada tilted his head back and let the hot water relax his muscles, Russia was listening to the tv so he could use this alone time to think about the events of the past week. He runs his hands through his hair and opens his eyes, watching the steam rise from his skin where the water hit in tiny high pressure needles. He lets out a content sigh and wonders for a moment if he should call America, surely the overactive nation was worried about him, but then what would America do if he found out Canada was in Russia… Not a pretty thought, Canada was not that eager to start WWIII from a misunderstanding. Still he feels like he should tell someone where he is, but that would mean telling someone Russia's secret. Canada had promised him that he wouldn't.  
The thought of Russia brings up that day in the greenhouse, Russia had looked so small, so fragile, in any other situation Canada would have found it adorable, or sexy. He wonders for a moment if Russia always feels like that, he then pushes the thought away. Another thought replaces it, Russia sitting naked in the bath, surrounded by steam and looking so relaxed.  
Canada blushes as he realizes a certain part of him really liked that thought, he tried to ignore his slowly awakening member and just focus on the warm water surrounding him, after a moment he gave in and decided to just go with it. It had been awhile since he really enjoyed himself after all.  
Slowly he trailed his fingertips from his hip up his naval and across his chest, brushing along his nipples and shivering slightly. He lets out a pleasured sigh as he pinches one, leaning against the wall of the shower and running his other hand down to trail along his hip. Biting his lip lightly he trails his fingers along the length of his member, wrapping his hand loosely around the head and sliding it back down to the base and gripping firmly. Canada lets out a gasp of pleasure and bites his tongue, not wanting Russia to hear him, before continuing to slowly stroke his cock. His thoughts turn back to Russia, wondering what it would feel like to run his hands over those thick muscles, feeling the long scars against his own smooth skin, gripping his back as the larger man lays over him, the raw power of those muscles as he pins Canada to the bed, the wall, the floor…  
"Ah!" Canada can't help but let out a cry of pleasure, not yet ready to cum but still overwhelmed by the dirty thoughts running through his head.  
"Canada? Are you ok?" Russia asks from the now open doorway, worry lacing his voice.  
Canada froze, he hadn't heard the door open. He stilled his hand, gripping the base of his cock to keep from coming. He clears his throat, "Y-Yeah I- Uh… I heard the door open and um… it startled me." Lame. That was lame.  
"Ah, I am sorry. I was just wondering where you were." Russia sounded a bit relieved.  
"Yeah, sorry I should have told you I was going to take a shower." Canada gets a bad idea, a very bad idea. He slowly starts to stroke his member again, surprised it hadn't gone soft at all. "Did you um, need anything?" He holds back a moan, Canada had never been quiet in the bedroom.  
"Da, I was going to call delivery for dinner, you have been so kind to cook for me that I wanted to return the favor. I wanted to know if you liked onions." Fuck Russia wasn't even talking dirty but… Canada was already so close, and that accent…  
"Ah… Y-Yeah, I um…" He couldn't think straight, he moved his hand faster, reaching down with the other to hold his balls and waiting for Russia to say something, anything, to get him just that little bit closer…  
"Canada… Are you touching yourself?" Russia asked, he sounded curious but didn't seem to care all that much.  
Canada stopped moving altogether, stopped breathing, couldn't even think as he felt himself fall over the edge, hips arched forward as every muscle in his body throbbed and he came. He could taste the blood in his mouth from biting his lip but he didn't care at the moment as he was overwhelmed with pleasure, struggling not to collapse to the floor of the bath as his knees threatened to buckle under him. He had been caught but fuck it was so worth it.  
"Uh- Yeah-" He panted, waiting for the other nation's response, the silence dragged on for what felt like forever before he hear a light chuckle.  
"If you wanted to hear my voice you could told me, I am not ashamed of natural urges like sex and masturbation." His tone was light and playful and Canada let out a sigh of relief.  
"Yeah… But it's more fun if you think you'll get caught." Canada chuckles.


	6. Chapter 6

France paced around England's living room in a nervous manner, the Brit sipped his tea and watched in slight worry.

"It has been a week Angleterre! A week! Where could he be?!" France nearly shouted as he carded his fingers through his silky blonde hair and chewed on his lip, a nasty habit that he had previously thought he kicked.

"I'm sure he will turn up eventually, there aren't many places he could go and not be recognized." England assured. Honestly France could be such a worry wart sometimes, not to say England himself wasn't but at least he could calm himself down. It had been quite awhile since Canada had disappeared like this though… Where on earth could that boy be?…

"But what if he doesn't?! What then Angleterre?! What if he never comes home?!" Oh dear lord the frog is hyperventilating.

England set his tea down and stood from his seat, walking over to France and placing his hands on the slightly taller nations shoulders. "Francis." The French nation stopped at hearing his human name and looked into England's deep green eyes. It wasn't often that England resorted to using France's human name as, for nations, it is normally only used by family and lovers, so the effect it had on France was obvious. "He will be fine. He's not a child anymore, he's not your child anymore…"

France was quiet for a moment before bowing his head, speaking quietly, "I know Arthur… I'm just… Worried."

"I know, I promise we'll find him. You just need to relax and be patient." England sure hoped he was right about this.

France had been sitting in his armchair, back home again. He had calmed down once he got home, had a nice meal, and read a bit more of his book, but after another day of waiting he was once again calling around and asking if anyone had seen Canada.

"What do you mean You do not know?!" France shouted over the phone at Cuba.

"I mean I haven't seen him since the meeting, he was supposed to come visit three days ago but he never showed up." Cuba's gruff voice responded through the receiver, obviously irritated with France.

"And you didn't think to tell anyone?! How is your head so thick?!" France nearly screeched.

"Your son asked me the same thing!" Cuba shouted in his ear, quickly hanging up the phone and leaving France infuriated and even more worried. Canada never missed a meeting, was never late, never canceled plans without at the very least a call. Something was very wrong.

France wracked his brain for hours, trying to think of where the young nation could have run off to, when a thought popped into his head. He rushed to the airport and purchased his ticket, settling into his seat and waiting out his flight.

It was nearly midnight when France arrived in Moscow, he had practically been pulling his hair out in worry.

The wind bit at his skin as he walked to Russia's house, not trusting the cabs here to understand his heavily accented voice. When he arrived he didn't even knock, simply pushing the door open, Russia really should lock them Canada does the same thing, and began to search the house for anyone. Once he had searched the first floor he climbed the stairs to the second, pushing open each door and peering in, staying as quiet as possible. When he reached Russia's master bedroom he held in a surprised gasp.

Canada was asleep in the large four post bed, looking so peaceful and relaxed with his hair fanned out over the pillow, Russia was next to him. France held in a possessive growl as he crept over to the bed, he set a heavy hand on Canada's shoulder, trying to wake the younger nation without alerting Russia. Canada's eyes slowly peered open.

"Mmm… France…? What are you-" Canada mumbled.

France covered his mouth gently and hushed him, "You have to be quiet mon cher. I am here to rescue you." He smiled softly down at the now wide awake nation.

"But… I don't need- I don't want to be rescued!" Canada hissed quietly, wiggling a bit, trying to escape France's grasp.

France sighed and pulled a cloth and bottle from his pocket. Canada stared in confusion as the sterile smelling liquid wet the rag then his eyes widened in realization as France once again covered his mouth and nose with the chloroform rag. Canada tried to scream as he thrashed and swung fists at his former guardian. Russia awoke with a start just as Canada passed out, France quickly grabbing the former colony and darting towards the door, thinking Russia would chase after him.

Russia sat in the now silent room, confused and a bit disoriented. He swore he had heard something, felt his bed moving, he placed his hand to Canada's side of the bed (the young nation had claimed it his second night here when he was too tired to remove himself from Russia's side, instead climbing into bed with him and falling back asleep) and finding it empty. Russia furrowed his brow, certain that it was still far too early for Canada to be making breakfast, he smelled the air to confirm this and froze.

Chloroform. The scent was unmistakable. Russia began to panic, his mind trying to process too many things at once, he took a deep breath to calm himself and worked out the facts. 1: Canada was gone. 2: Russia could smell chloroform. 3: Russia was now sure he had woken up to the sound of a struggle. 4: Russia could smell perfume. This last fact confused him, what woman was strong enough (and would want to in the first place) to kidnap a nati… Not a woman, a man, one who wears perfume. France. If Russia wasn't blind he would have seen red, France had taken Canada in his sleep, Russia could feel his mind slipping and he took deep breaths to try and relax. Now was not the time.

He stood from his bed and walked towards his home office, this may be one of the hardest things Russia had ever done. He picked up the old red land line and waited as it rang.

"Yo, Russia, buddy, what's up?" America's infuriatingly stupid voice answered from the other end of the line.

"Amerika, I… I need your help…" Russia wanted to choke on his words as he admitted a weakness to someone who, for so long, was his sworn enemy. The line went silent and Russia waited for the laughter to start. America cleared his throat.

"What do you need?"


	7. Chapter 7

Russia was asking him for help? Russia. Asking America for help… Something had to be seriously wrong.

"What do you need?" America asked after a short pause. He thought he could hear a relieved sigh from the other end of the line but he couldn't be sure.

"Canada may be in danger. He has been at my house since the meeting in Paris and he has just been stolen in his sleep. I am sure it was France who did it." Russia explained, America was very confused. Canada? Who was… Oh! His brother! Oh no Canada was kidnapped?! By France?! There's no telling what that perverted old bastard might do to… Wait… Why was Canada at Russia's house? And why couldn't Russia just go beat the shit out of France himself? "Amerika? Are you still there?" Oops, guess he was monologuing again.

"Yeah big guy, I'm still here, but I'm a little confused. Why do you need my help if you know it was France? This seems like a problem that even a guy like you can handle." Russia grit his teeth in both irritation and contemplation.

"I… Amerika I went blind the day before the meeting… I can not do this by myself." There, it was out, Russia told America his weakness, had asked for help, had taken an insult without retort. All for a man who he'd only known for a week. He still didn't even know what Canada looked like. But… Canada was… No. He is doing this because Canada is a _friend_ who needs his help.

On the other end of the line America spit out his coffee, getting several angry and alarmed looks from the officials in his office. America blushed and politely asked (ordered) them to leave, turning back to the phone and whispering. "You what?! You're blind?!"

Russia cringed at the harsh tone, "Amerika, please, it is not that big of a-"

"Russia of course it's a big deal! If your economy was that bad you should have told me! I would have helped!"

"Nyet! It is not my economy! My people are fine, my country is fine, I do not know why this has happened! Now will you help me or not?!" Russia demands, fed up with America's short attention span.

"Of course I'll help you! A hero could never turn down a person in need! No matter how evil they are!" America proclaims. Russia wants to punch him through the phone, America should know he is not evil, he takes a deep breath and ignores the comment.

"Da, I cannot leave by myself, I need you to come and get me." God Russia felt like a kid, America had better not say one word about this.

"Sure, I'll be there in a few hours." With that they both hung up and Russia waited, trying to calm his nerves. He would get Canada back, and he would make sure this _never_ happened again.

Canada's whole body was sore as he forced his eyes open, his head throbbed and his throat and nose burned. The room he was in was dark and he was thankful for that, he sits up and finds that he is on a bed with silk sheets and… He's in his underwear. Confused, he tries to remember what happened, France was in his room… No, Russia's room, Canada had been in Russia's room. Then how had France gotten there, and how had Canada gotten here? The door on the far side of the room creaked open and France peered in from the hall.

"Ah, Matthieu, you are awake~" The older nation purred, walking up to the bed and kneeling beside it to take Canada's hand in his. He placed a kiss on the pale knuckles and smiled up and the arctic nation.

"France? What am I doing here? How did I…" Canada trailed off, trying to clear the pounding in his skull.

"Shh, I brought you here, to my home. You were at Russie's house, you had not spoken to anyone in a week mon cher, a week! I was so worried about you, I looked everywhere!" France exclaimed, gripping Canada's hand tighter and nearly sobbing in relief.

"You… You took me away from him… No, he needs me! I have to get back! Take me back!" Canada pulls his hand from the French man's grasp and tries to stand from the bed, quickly falling back down from the head rush that followed the action.

"Shh~ Canada, you are ok. You are safe here~ He will not find you, he will not take you away from me." France growled and Canada flinches. What the hell was France talking about? He needed to get back to Russia! He needed his help! Canada tried to stand again only to be pushed to lie back on the bed. France straddled his waist and held his wrists above his head as Canada struggled to get away.

"Let me go! I need to get back to Russia!" Canada cried, his wrists beginning to bruise from the strength of France's grip.

"Canada! Stop! You are being fooled by him! He does not care about you! He is only using you for his own benefit!" France shouted, Canada stilled in shock, France hardly ever raised his voice to anyone but England.

The drugs still present in Canada's system were fogging his mind and making him hysterical, tears welled in his eyes at hearing the cruel words. That wasn't true was it? Russia… Russia said he liked him… Right? France was just being cruel, but… France had never lied to him before.

"That… That's not true! I… I know it's not…" France stared at Canada with a sad expression.

"Canada, if he really liked you then tell me, did he say he loved you?" France questioned.

"Well, no but-"

"Did he ever take you to his room, late in the night, and make you writhe under him in pleasures you could never imagine?"

"N-No, but-!"

"Then why do you believe he cares for you? Why do you fool yourself and hurt yourself like this?" Canada was crying now, hot, burning tears running down his face as he laid limp under his former caretaker's grasp.

"Because he… He said he did…" Canada went silent after that and France watched him cry his heart out. France let go of his wrists and laid beside him, wrapping his arms around the young nation and pulling him against his chest. Canada gripped France's silk shirt and cried, letting out all the frustration at once, of not being seen, of finally finding someone who could remember him, who needed him, and not being allowed to have him. The crying made his skull feel even tighter and his eyes and throat burn until, finally, he fell asleep once more, with warm arms wrapped around him.

France didn't allow Canada to leave the next day, instead insisting that, for his own safety, he stay in France's home. Canada could hardly believe it but he was beginning to wonder if maybe France was right, maybe Russia had been using him. These thoughts plagued his mind as he helped make dinner, head hanging and eyes clouded in thought as he cut the veggies, this didn't go unnoticed by the French nation.

"Cheer up Canada, you do not have to worry about him anymore. Papa is here for you, papa loves you more than anything." France says, smiling at the younger man and rubbing his back soothingly.

"Oui papa, I know." Canada sighs, hands stilling before he sets the knife down. "It's just… I really thought he…" Tears began to gather in his eyes again, slowly rolling down his cheeks, his shoulders shaking slightly. He turns around and grips France's shirt, burying his face in his firm chest. He felt arms wrap around him and, for just a moment, he imagined Russia holding him like this, keeping him safe and warm and comforting him. But the smell of perfume and the lilting French accent assured him who was really there with him.

"Do not worry my dearest Matthieu, I will keep you safe. In fact papa has a gift for you. I think you will like it." France wiped Canada's tears from his face, taking his hand and pulling him down the hall towards his room. "I know papa will like it."


	8. Chapter 8

America arrived at Russia's house to find the front door wide open, as he stepped inside he was greeted with the sight of Russia pacing back and forth in the front room, anything that may have been in his way was either broken or thrown aside so he wouldn't step on it. Canada's bear cub was watching him and looked just as upset about his missing owner. Russia must have heard him come in because he stopped and growled, glaring at the floor and muscles tightening, ready for a fight.

"Easy big guy, I'm here to help remember."America put his hands up in surrender before remembering that Russia couldn't see him anyway.

"Amerika, I called you two days ago. Where have you been?!" America took a step back from the yelling, he really didn't want to piss Russia off any more than he already was.

"Russia it was only about 14 hours, I packed and left right after we hung up the phone."

Russia blinked in confused surprise and then looked down in embarrassment. "I am sorry, I cannot tell time very well… Thank you for helping me." Now America blinked in surprise, did Russia just apologize?

"I uh… I called France but he didn't pick up, England did but he hasn't seen France in nearly two weeks. France didn't pick up for him either." America informed him, Russia walked towards him and stopped just a few steps in front. America swallowed hard.

"We need to go. We must find Canada." Without another word he walked past America and out the front door. America ran after him.

"Russia how are we even gonna get there? You can't see and you obviously don't want people to know that, I'm not even supposed to be out of my country right now! If someone sees me here leading you around what the hell are they gonna think?!" America grabbed Russia's arm and Russia stopped walking, not looking at America.

"I… I do not know… Maybe they will not notice us…" Russia's eyes started to water, damnit he could not cry in front of America! He bit his lower lip to keep quiet and took a few deep breaths through his nose. "I just want him back America… I just want moy podsolnukh back…" Russia could no longer hold back the tears, he could no longer do anything, and he fell to his knees, tears rolling down his cheeks and melting the snow as they fell. America was silent as he watched his sworn enemy fall apart in front of him.

"Russia… why do you care so much about Canada? You two never really talked before, and now… What happened while he was staying here?" America waited patiently for an answer, not backing away but not kneeling down next to him. America was not who he needed right now and trying to be that person would only make things worse.

"…Ya vlyubilsya…" Russia whispered in answer. America's eyes widened.

This felt wrong.

Canada was tired, so tired, but he didn't need sleep. He was in a bed, he was comfortable but… This was wrong. France was shirtless, long, talented fingers slowly trailing up Canada's sides under his shirt. Those soft lips traced his navel so gently they were barely touching, leaving goose pimples over his pale skin and making him shiver. He heard a chuckle, familiar and soothing against his stomach but it made him uncomfortable. He felt his knees spread more to accommodate the body between them and felt the pressure of France settling between them more, chest pressed between his thighs and hands removing his shirt, revealing a pale chest. Canada took deep breaths, it's not as if he'd never had sex before but… France was his papa, didn't it feel weird to him? Canada heard the sound of his zipper before he felt the pull against his pants, he looked down to see France had his hands on his hips, thumbs massaging his hip bones, and his teeth pulling down his zipper. Canada laid his head back on the pillows again as he felt one of France's hands reaching in his underwear and pulling out his soft member, gripping it gently and stroking it, pulling a soft, uncomfortable sigh from the younger nation.

"Shhh~ Relax mon Matthieu, papa will make you feel good~" His hand continued moving, slowly bringing Canada's member to life. Canada shivered again, a sick feeling in his stomach as he let his former guardian touch him and toy with him however he pleased.

"Oui papa." Canada let out a deep breath and tried to relax as he felt something wet and warm flick at the tip of his member.

France could tell Canada was unsure, his mind still in places other than the here and now. He redoubled his efforts, trying to engulf Canada's mind in pleasure as he swallowed his half hard cock, running his tongue along the underside and sucking. France smirked as he felt hands tangle in his hair, pulling lightly in what he assumed to be pleasure.

"P-Papa… I… It feels weird…" France furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, surely Canada had gotten a blow job before, why did it feel weird? France pulled his head back and released his cock with a lewd pop, licking his lips and looking up at Canada's red face.

"What is wrong Matthieu? Does it not feel good?" France liked to consider himself quite good at anything sex related, the thought of someone not enjoying his mouth was just bizarre to him.

"I-I don't know… This is just… I don't want to do this…" Canada's voice was quiet but France heard him loud and clear. The French nation's eyes darkened and his soft, comforting smile fell to a frown.

"Matthieu, if this is because of what Russie said then you need to forget about him. He doesn't care about you! No one cares about you! I'm all you have and you know it!" France's voice raised and Canada shrunk back into the pillows, tears welling at both the volume and the harsh bite in the words.

"Th-That's not-" He tried to argue but was only interrupted again by an increasingly upset and angry France.

"Of course it's true! Why else did no one come looking for you?! They forgot you ever even existed!" France grabbed Canada by the hips and flipped him onto his stomach, removing his jeans with one violent tug, "I am the only one who never forgot you! And you repay me by saying you 'don't want to do this'?! I deserve everything from you! You were mine first!"

Canada was crying and struggling to get away but France held him down, one hand pressed against the back of his neck and the other gripping his hip, leaving bruises. France forced Canada's legs apart with his knees and pressed against his bare ass, grinding his still clothed member against soft, pale mounds.

Canada wanted to scream, he wanted to get away, he wanted this to not be real and for France to just be his papa again, the one that held him when he cried and told him everything would be ok, but most of all, Canada wanted Russia. He wanted Russia to hold him in his arms at night, to talk to him about the sunflowers and the snow and his favorite Russian meals and to tell him his pronunciation of the letter 'o' sucked. He wanted Russia to save him.

But Russia wasn't here, France was though, and Canada could feel slick fingers prodding at his hole before slipping in and beginning to stretch and abuse him. Canada stilled in pain and fear and horror, he simply couldn't understand why this was happening. Even as France removed his fingers and Canada could feel the pressure of his dick pushing against him he didn't move. The only thing that shook him from his trance was the sound of shouting and the sudden absence of heat and hands on his skin.


	9. Chapter 9

The taxi ride from Russia's house to the airport was about 15 minutes, 15 minutes filled with nail biting and awkward silence as the cab driver kept glaring at them in confusion in the rearview mirror. America knew the were an odd looking pair, a very tan and obviously American man leading around a giant of a Russian who looked extremely irritated and hadn't even bothered to put on his shoes, of course people were going to stare. This knowledge did not, however, comfort America as he glared back at the driver, daring him to put the pieces together and figure out who they were. Russia was unaware of the whole situation, focused simply on what France may be doing to Canada, he chewed on his lower lip and furrowed his brows, frowning further as he tasted blood. America noticed and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, he could at least offer some comfort.

"Stop that, it can't feel good." He scolded, speaking in English of course so that the driver, hopefully, wouldn't understand him.  
Russia released his lip from his teeth's sharp grasp and licked away the blood. "But… What if something has happened to him, what if we're too late?!" Russia was beginning to show his concern once more and America flinched at the volume of his words.  
"That French bastard is not going to hurt him, you don't need to worry this much. Trust me, the worst that could happen is he makes him eat snails." America shivered at the memory of the one time he had tried them. Never again. "Besides, Ca-ah my brother likes spending time with him." That was close, they weren't supposed to use country names in front of the humans outside of conferences and treaty signings. Russia sighed at that, he already knew that but it didn't make him feel any better, something about this whole thing just felt wrong.  
Once at the airport Russia paid the driver (he could be wrong here but America swore Russia just threatened him until he left) and they hurried into the large building, America guiding Russia through the sea of people to the front desk.  
"Dve bilety tuda i obratno v Parizh." Russia told the lady working there, America didn't bother translating their conversation until he heard the word 'Nyet'.  
"Etot polet ukhodit." The woman said with a frown, typing something into her computer. Russia suddenly slammed his fist on the desktop.  
"Togda skazhite im podozhdat'! My nuzhdayemsya v etom polete!" He screamed at her, face turning red and teeth grit together in frustration. America looked around nervously as most of the airport, including the security, was now staring at them.  
"Russia!" America hissed under his breath, "Calm down, you're attracting too much attention!" Russia didn't hear him though, focused only on the lady's shrill, stupid sounding voice as she told him she was calling the police. He saw red, the next thing he remembered was being attacked by what felt like several large men in kevlar vests. Russia tried to throw them off of him, struggling to do so without hurting them too badly. It wasn't until he heard the voice of his boss that he finally stopped.  
"What the bloody fucking hell do you think you're doing?! He's your son you manky gormless maggot!" England was absolutely fuming, he had come to check on France after America had talked to him and walked in on the most disgusting thing he'd ever seen.  
Canada was still on the bed, collapsed and crying, shaking in fear and disgust, France was on the floor in front of England where he had been dragged away from Canada.  
"He's mine Angleterre! He belongs to me! I had him first!" France shouted, tears in his eyes from frustration. England's look of pure horror intensified.  
"Have you lost the fucking plot?! He didn't want it! You always say you're the country of love, bullshit! You tried to rape your son!" France watched as England's face got redder and he bowed his head in shame. What had he done?!  
England looked to Canada, stepping up to the bed and placing his own jacket around the boy's shoulders before helping him stand. Canada stumbled at first but quickly regained his footing, walking beside England as they left the room. After gathering some clothes from Canada's guest room England hailed a taxi and they climbed in the back, Canada laying his head on England's lap as the older nation stroked his hair.  
"You'll be alright lad, you're strong like your git brother, I'll take you home, you must be exha-"  
"No! You can't take me home!" Canada cut him off, clutching the shirt he had brought to his chest, the same one he had been wearing the night France brought him here, the one Russia had given him.  
"You need to rest lad, where else would you go?" England questioned, worried. Canada had been through so much in the past few days and England had no idea how long he had been at France's house or what the man had done to him. Where else but home would the boy want to go?  
"…I want to see Russia." Canada mumbled under his breath, England's eyes widened before he closed them and nodded.  
"Alright lad, I'll take you to him."  
America could speak Russian, he had learned how from countless years of on and off alliances and wars with the frozen nation, unfortunately he was not good enough to translate the fast and angry voice of Russia's boss as he screamed in Russia's face. They were in Russia's home office, the ride there had been quick and silent, and America suddenly felt like he did not belong here. Putin had been thoughtful enough to avoid telling the KGB that America was here but something told him it was not for his sake. America didn't realize they were talking to him until he heard the thick accented voice of Putin speaking English. America looked up to see Russia staring straight forward and Putin was now looking at him expectantly.  
"And why are you here? Without permission by the way." Putin was glaring at him, America swallowed hard before speaking.  
"I'm here because Russia asked for my help." America stated and from the corner of his eye he saw Russia flinch.  
"Oh? Help with what exactly? What could Russia possibly need from you?" Putin raised an eyebrow and America wondered for a moment how a human could be so intimidating.  
"He needed my help to find my brother, Canada."  
"Sounds more to me like you needed his help. It's perfectly fine to ask for help you know, we would be happy to assist the United States in any way we can." God he sounded so smug, America clenched his fists and really had to restrain from punching that smirk right off his face.  
"I didn't need his help and I don't need yours. My brother had been staying here to look after him and was kidnapped, Russia needed me to help find him." America grit his teeth, wondering if Putin could even tell that Russia was blind and if he should say any more.  
"You expect me to believe that? Why on earth would Canada have to 'look after' Russia? And why would Russia need your help finding him? He is perfectly capable of tracking him down on his own." Putin crossed his arms over his chest and Russia bowed his head. America bit his tongue and closed his eyes before letting out a sigh. He raised his head again and looked Putin dead in the eyes.  
"Because Russia went blind two weeks ago." The room was silent, no one moved, no one breathed. Putin watched America carefully before turning to Russia who was bowing his head and clenching his fists.  
"Is that true? You are blind?" Putin and America watched as Russia bowed his head more, staying silent and slowly nodding his head. Putin didn't speak at first, instead opening and closing his mouth in search of words, when he did speak his voice was low and calm.  
"I see, from now on you will have constant supervision, until we figure out how this happened and how to reverse it you will have no contact with any other nations. You are also ban from speaking to or associating with France, America, and Canada until further notice by me directly. Do you understand?"  
Russia was shocked, so was America, Russia clenched his fists. "Nyet! You cannot keep me locked away like that! You-"  
"I can and I will even if I have to chain you to the wall." Russia choked and his eyes widened, memories of the Communist revolution flashed through his mind and he could once again feel the pain of his people being killed in front of him, the starving masses, the hatred.  
"B-But-"  
"Nyet! Do you understand Russia? I am your boss and you _will_ do as I say." Putin glared at Russia and even though Russia couldn't see it he could feel it. Russia hung his head, hiding his tears.  
"Da, Sir, I understand." America was then escorted off the property, screaming the whole way that he would save Russia. Putin left but Russia knew he wasn't alone, he didn't know who was with him but at the moment it didn't matter. He left the room, walking to his bedroom and to the dresser on the far wall, opening the top drawer and pulling out a shirt far too small for him, he crawled into the cold, empty bed, clutching the shirt close and smelling it. Damp leaves and fresh water. Canada.


	10. Chapter 10

"What do you mean I can't see him?! Why?!" Canada was frantic as he sat in the Russian president's office, England sat next to him and Putin was watching both of them closely.

"My nation is in no condition to be having visitors at the moment, I apologize, I'm sure you had very important business to come all this way. If you would like you may speak with me about it."

"No! I have to talk to Russia! I have to see him!" Canada couldn't understand why Russia wasn't allowed to see anyone, England was suspicious of Putin's intentions.

"From what I've heard Russia was fine two days ago, could the economy really be that bad?" England raised an eyebrow, trying to instigate Putin and put him on the defensive. Putin didn't even flinch.

"I'm afraid we're experiencing a bit of a drag, but who isn't, what with America's overspending and poor economic choices?" The transition from defense to insult was smooth and took England off guard for a moment. How the _bloody hell_ had he down that so easily?

Canada fell silent, there was nothing he or England could do, Russia's boss didn't want the world to know Russia was blind, Russia was being locked in his own home and everyone else is locked out.

"Please, I need to see him. It will only be a few minutes, and I already know he's blind." Canada pleaded, England let out a gasp and Putin cringed, Canada wanted to punch himself, he forgot he hadn't told England yet.

"Russia is blind?! Why the bloody hell didn't you mention this sooner! And why the hell do you know this anyway?!" England was freaking out, Putin was glaring at Canada and Canada wanted to cry again. Why couldn't things ever work out for him?

"I want you two to leave my country, until further notice there will be no traveling back and forth. Understood?" Putin forced out through grit teeth. "And I would hurry if I were you, there's a storm coming."

Russia sat in his front room, chair pulled up next to the window, hand set on the frozen glass. His human guards were gone, left to be with their families to wait out the first storm of the winter season, they were smart. Russia could feel General Winter's anger, he wanted Russia's people to pay for locking away the nation he had protected for so long. Anyone caught out in this storm would die, there was no question, even with all the heaters on in Russia's house he could still feel the chill of The General's icy fingers.

"Why do you always come to my home in my times of grief?" Russia asked in his native tongue, even without sight he knew his breath was visible, ghosting out in white puffs in the dark room, lit only by the fire in the mantel.

"It is in these times you need my company most." The voice of The General reverberated through Russia's bones and chilled his core, he was thankful for The Generals protection but he did not enjoy his company.

"What if I wish to be alone?" Russia questioned the icy spirit.

"You do not. I can tell it is not my company you crave, but you do not wish to be alone." Russia's chest tightened at the thought of Canada and he clutched the shirt tighter to his chest.

"You are a god, not a friend, your comfort is worthless outside of battle." Russia could feel The General frown and his hand slowly froze to the glass, breaking the ice crystals holding him there when he finally pulled away.

"Is this not a battle? I have seen the rise and fall of many nations, the faces change but the heart does not, and many have fallen from a broken heart. If you have no one then there is no one to live for."

"I have my peop-"

"The ones that imprison you here? Away from the one you love? Away from all contact to the outside world? This is no different than Stalin, Lennin, the Mongols. When will you learn Russia? When will you see that the humans must not rule the country, they must simply protect it?" The General asked, concern showing, if only slightly, in his monotone voice.

"If you are so wise and powerful then why not help me?! Make them let me go! Bring him back to me!" Russia's eyes were tearing up again, he hadn't cried this much since he was a child, then Canada came to him and now everything has changed.

"I can only help if you let me." With that Russia could feel The General's presence fade and he was alone once more, the only sound the wind and snow roaring outside.

England was gone, he had gotten on the first flight back to England but Canada's had been canceled due to severe weather. Canada had no money with him and no way to get home, he was fluent enough to ask for a room until the storm passed but he could find no one to take him in without payment. The only option Canada had was to either go to Russia's house or freeze to death, his choice was obvious. The large mansion was at least three miles away though, he'd be lucky if he didn't freeze to death either way.

He'd walked for what felt like hours before he found the old house, all the lights were off but Canada was sure Russia was home. There was a security camera by the front door but it was covered in ice much like the rest of the house. Canada tried to knock on the door but his hands were frozen and sent a searing pain through him whenever he touched anything, he tried kicking the door but after the first hit he slipped and fell ass first into the snow, letting out a (very manly) scream.

Canada sat in the snow, he had stopped shivering, he knew from experience that wasn't good, his body no longer had the energy to try and keep itself warm. He was freezing in place, his bones and joints stiff and his eyes beginning to glaze over. Canada had drowned, fallen from buildings, been hit by cars, suffocated in a burning building, and been stabbed to death but none of that compared to freezing to death. It was unlike any pain he had ever felt before, the feeling of blood freezing and expanding in his veins, his skin and muscles turning cold and purple, his eyes would no longer shut properly. As one last attempt to save his life he did the only thing he could think of doing, forcing his jaw open and his frozen lungs to move as he let out one final yell.

"Russia!"


	11. Chapter 11

Russia heard a bang on his door but he ignored it, probably just another guard or a snowdrift, either way he didn't care. He continued to sit on the floor in front of the fire, trying to stay warm as The General coated his land in ice and snow. His thoughts drifted again to Canada, Russia was sure he needed help, no telling what France would do to him, but there was nothing Russia could do, so he sat. Russia began to drift off when something woke him, he wasn't sure but he swore he heard someone shout his name. He stood from where he was wrapped in a blanket on the floor and walked to the front door, he hesitantly opened it and immediately felt a gust of frozen air and snow, he blocked his face with his arm.

"Is anyone there?!" Russia shouted over the wind, he waited for an answer.

Canada was watching Russia, weak and freezing, he tried desperately to shout again but his voice was gone. Russia couldn't see him and Canada couldn't speak. Canada wanted to cry but his eyes were frozen, so he sat. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something, the figure of an old man with blue skin. The strange man didn't seem affected by the cold as he walked towards Canada, his eyes were locked on Russia.

Russia heard nothing but for some reason he felt he shouldn't close the door, like something was happening. He waited with the door open and ignored the cold until he heard another familiar voice.

"You have been lost for many centuries. It is time you found your path." The General's voice echoed through his mind and in the wind.

"What do you mean?" Russia answers back in his native tongue.

"It is time for you to open your eyes."

Canada hear the old man speak in Russian but his mind was to overwhelmed to try translating it, Russia answered with a confused tone though and a few moments later the man replied and then disappeared into the snow whirling around them. Russia blinked and looked shocked for a moment before he looked down and, for the first time, locked eyes with Canada.

"O moy Bog!" Russia exclaimed in shock, he immediately knelt down to pick Canada up and brought him inside, shutting the door with his foot and briskly walking over to the fire, setting Canada's frozen body on the blanket laid on the floor. Russia began stripping him of his clothing and Canada's face morphed to one of confusion and fright. "Calm down. You must get these off so you warm up!" Russia informed him, once Canada was stripped to his underwear Russia began removing his own clothes, leaving on only his scarf and boxers.

If Canada hadn't be frozen nearly solid then he would have blushed as Russia laid behind him and pressed against his back, arms wrapped around him and face towards the fire. They laid there for what felt like hours, Canada eventually began shivering again and his skin began to warm from the fire and Russia's own body heat. Russia was silent and Canada wasn't sure he recognized him without his voice so he tried once again to speak.

"Ru-" Canada was cut off by a fit of coughs and Russia held him tighter, face buried in the back of his neck. Canada felt Russia inhale deeply and then pull his face back. He wondered if Russia recognized his scent. "Rus-" Canada coughed again.

"Shh, you will hurt yourself." Russia whispered, Canada couldn't relax though, he needed to tell Russia who he was.

"Russia… I'm…" Kumajiro walked into the room then and when he saw Canada he ran up and cuddled against him. Canada looked down to the small bear cub and smiled, glad he was ok.

"Food?" The bear asked and Russia's eyes widened, he sat up and looked down at the two of them, eyes trailing over Canada's body. According to Canada Kumajiro only acted this way to Russia and his owner… That meant…

"Canada?" Russia asked, Canada looked up at him and managed a shy smile. Russia's breath caught in his throat and tears welled in his eyes once again, Canada was ok, he was here and alive and (relatively) unharmed. The tears fell down Russia's cheeks and Canada sat up slowly and hugged him around the neck, Russia hugged him back tightly, as if if he let go Canada would disappear and not be real. They sat and held each other for a long time, until the fire began to die, and when they let go it was to feed the flame and stare at each other, eyes locked and sparkling with joy and desire.

"Russia," Canada's voice was almost back now, the ice having been melted from his body and his muscles warm, "I… I think I-" Russia cut him off, his slightly chapped lips pressed to Canada's softer ones, one hand on his cheek and the other around his waist. Canada's eyes widened a bit before sliding shut as he melded his lips to Russia's. After a moment they parted, Canada's eyes lidded and Russia staring lovingly at the younger nation.

"Ivan. My name is Ivan." Russia whispered, Canada was shocked for a moment before responding.

"Mine is Matthieu." They both smile and Russia traces his fingers over Canada's cheeks and lips.

"Matvey…" Russia smiles and Canada shivers at the foreign sound. "Will you… Will you stay here with me?" Russia's eyes were hopeful but Canada could tell he was scared, scared that Canada would say no. Canada sighed and leaned into Russia's gentle touch.

"I need to get back to my country but for now I'm all yours." Canada smiled and placed a soft kiss on Russia's lips, Russia kissed back and set his hand on the smaller nation's hip.

"Matvey… Become one with me…" Canada's breath hitched as Russia pulled him into his lap, Canada's legs on either side of Russia's hips. They stared at eachother for awhile, Russia waiting for an answer and Canada trying to find one. Canada bit his lip and looked away, taking a deep breath before answering.

"Yes Ivan." Russia's eyes widened and he smiled in joy, he kissed Canada hard and held him by the waist, leaning forward until Canada was lying on his back on the blanket. Canada sighed happily and wrapped his arms around Russia's neck, arching his back as Russia ran a hand up his stomach. Russia licked Canada's lips and Canada opened his mouth, tasting the alcohol on Russia's tongue as he eagerly explored the new territory. Russia felt Canada's hands slowly pull at his scarf and froze for a moment, Canada stopped and waited while Russia sat up on his knees. Russia looked away and closed his eyes before reaching up and slowly unwrapping his scarf, letting it fall to the side and looking down at Canada.

Canada's eyes widened when he saw the scars, he already knew about a lot of them but he was not expecting the one jagged line all the way around his neck, it branched off like lightning and it was red instead of silver and white like the rest of them. Canada reached up and traced a finger over it, watching Russia shiver at the light touch to such a sensitive area.

"What is this one from?" Canada wasn't sure why he asked or even wanted to know but he felt like this was important. Russia was silent, biting his lip and think through his words carefully.

"When the Bolsheviks took over I was locked in the basement of the Kremlin… They needed to break me in order to gain control so they kept me down there for years…" Russia reached up and ran a finger over the scar until his hand met Canada's, resting over is and bringing it to his lips to place a kiss on the palm. "They wrapped barbed wire around my neck, I tried to get it off many times but I could not. That is why my hands are scarred as well." Russia explained, Canada frowned at the story and placed his hand on Russia's cheek.

"You don't have to be scared anymore." Canada wasn't sure of what he was talking about but Russia looked much happier after he said it. "Now are we gonna talk all night? Or do you want to warm me up some more?" Canada smirked and Russia smiled before laying Canada back down and kissing him once more. Canada wrapped his arms back around Russia's neck and let his fingers dig into the muscles of his back, Russia felt the strong grip and light trace of nails and groaned, grinding down into Canada and drawing a gasp from him. Canada arched up into him and tipped his head back, eyes closed in pleasure and mouth slightly open, breathing heavy. Russia trailed kisses down Canada's jaw and neck, latching onto a collar bone and switching between sucking and biting until a dark purple mark formed. Canada moaned as Russia trailed lower, reaching a nipple and nipping it, one hand was gripping Canada's hip and the other was pinching and flicking the other nipple.

"Ivan, I need… More." Canada sighed, muscles relaxing and hands falling to his sides in surrender. Russia didn't waste time, quickly reaching down and pulling Canada's boxers down his legs. Canada wasn't expecting that so quickly and so he squeaked in surprise, covering his face in embarrassment from both the sound and suddenly being bare in front of Russia. Russia let out a deep chuckle and pulled Canada's hands away from his face, looking at him with a soft smile.

"There is no need to be shy." Russia insisted, Canada nodded and laid his arms back down at his sides, watching Russia as he removed his own boxers.

Canada had been waiting what felt like forever for this but now he suddenly wasn't sure, his thoughts kept trailing back to France and what had happened just yesterday. Could he really do this? He really wanted to but…

"W-Wait." Canada stuttered out as Russia had leaned down to kiss him once again, Russia stopped immediately and looked back up to Canada.

"What is it Matvey?" Russia asked with curious eyes, trying to hold down the hunger rising in his stomach. He needed to be sure that Canada wanted this as much as he did.

"I… I don't know if I can do this… I just- I don't…" Canada looked ready to cry and Russia frowned, reaching out to wipe a tear away and tilt Canada's chin up to look at him.

"We do not have to. It is your choice." Russia assured calmly, he wanted to continue so badly but if Canada was not ready then he would hold himself back as long as needed.

"You… Aren't mad?" Canada was so confused, France had been so upset with him but Russia was giving him the power to decide. Canada looked into Russia's eyes and searched them for any form of anger or sadness but all he found there was love and adoration.

"Nyet." Russia sat up again and handed Canada his underwear, Canada sat up aswell and bowed his head. "I could never be upset with you Matvey."

Canada bit his lip again when a thought popped into his head, he wasn't ready for Russia but… Maybe…

"Ivan… Would you… Would you bottom for me?" Canada looked up to find Russia to be, not shocked, but smiling…

"If that is what you want then da, I will." Canada was in shock, Russia didn't mind bottoming, Canada had been so unsure but if Russia was ok with it then he was _not_ going to argue.

Canada nodded and Russia leaned back, smiling reassuringly. Canada crawled over Russia, settling between his legs and leaning down to place a kiss on his lips, Russia leaned up to return the kiss and when they broke apart he whispered in Canada's ear something that made Canada's cock throb.

"I have never been with a man so please be gentle."

Canada felt a sudden swell of determination and he leaned down and trailed his tongue up Russia's neck, the larger man shivered and gripped Canada's hip with one hand, forcing Canada to grind the bare bodies against eachother. Canada let out a moan at the feeling of Russia's erection against his own and Russia clenched his jaw in pleasure. Canada was using one hand to support himself as his other traced over the muscles of Russia's stomach and sides, mapping out the feeling of his body and burning the memory into his mind. Russia had been quiet in his pleasure until Canada leaned down and bit his neck, not hard enough to draw blood but enough to leave a mark. That's when Russia _whimpered_ and fuck if that didn't go straight to Canada's dick. Russia dug his nails into Canada's back and spread his legs wider, Canada moaned and released his neck, leaning back and taking in Russia's flustered and out of breath form.

"Are you ready?" Canada asked, a smirk on his face but a careful and gentle looking his eyes. Russia nodded and closed his eyes, relaxing and trusting Canada not to hurt him. When Canada set a hand on the inside of Russia's thigh Russia could suddenly feel everything, the heat of Canada's soft hand and the fire, the cold floor under the blanket, the blood throbbing in his erection as Canada leans down and wraps his mouth around the head.

Russia's back arched off the floor and his eyes shot open as the wet heat of Canada's mouth engulfed him, he let out a half moan half growl and gripped Canada's soft hair in his hands. Canada smirked around Russia's cock and took more into his mouth, it was already making his jaw ache but if Russia felt good then Canada was happy. As he began to bob his head Russia slowly relaxed into the feeling, focusing on not pulling the younger nation's hair too hard and just enjoying the feeling, when Canada was about halfway down Russia held him there and waited. Canada was having trouble breathing and Russia was holding him down so he couldn't move, the only thing he could think to do was hum, after just a few seconds Russia pulled him off completely and Canada took deep breaths to ease his lungs.

"Matvey, please hurry, I want you." Russia begged in a breathy tone, Canada felt his cock twitch from the thought of being buried inside of Russia.

"Ok, just relax." Canada leaned forward again and sucked his fingers for a moment, Russia saw this and became slightly confused.

"Matvey what are you doing?" Russia furrowed his eyebrows and frowned, Canada looked back up to his face and removed his fingers from his mouth.

"I have to stretch you out first, or else it will hurt. This would be easier with lube but spit will work for now." He explained and Russia seemed satisfied, leaning his head back again and closing his eyes.

Canada circled Russia's hole with one wet finger, watching Russia's face as he shivered, when Canada pressed it in he tensed up and bit his lip.

"Relax Ivan, you have to relax or it will hurt." Canada spoke softly and watched as Russia tried to relax, once he had loosened up enough for Canada to move his finger he twisted it and thrust in and out. Russia's jaw tightened and Canada could see the muscles in his leg flexing as he tried not to move, Canada reached out with his free hand and gripped Russia's member to distract him from any discomfort, by the way Russia stiffened up and groaned it was working.

Canada added another finger and spread them, Russia moaned at the foreign feeling and arched his back again, when Canada added a third his breathing picked up and he was an absolute mess. Canada smirked at the sight and decided to push Russia a little further, he crooked his fingers up and slammed them into Russia's prostate. Russia froze in place and his eyes flew open, his mouth hung open in a silent shout and his hands balled into the blanket underneath him, tearing the seams. Canada removed his fingers and watched Russia slowly relax again, once his mind had cleared a bit Russia squirmed and bucked his hips into the hand still holding his cock, he looked to Canada with pleading eyes.

"Matvey, please! I need more! Do that again!" Russia begged in his native tongue, apparently too overwhelmed to translate at the moment. Canada shook his head.

"We're done with that now Ivan, time for something bigger." Russia whined and Canada leaned over him, releasing his member and pressing just the tip of his own against Russia's well stretched hole. Russia tried to press down onto Canada but was held in place by the strong hands on his hips. Canada watched Russia's face as he held him down, waiting for that look, that desperate look that told him Russia was more than ready, the one that would break Canada's self control. Russia stared back at him with increasing distress and pleading eyes, he didn't understand why Canada hadn't done it already, what was he waiting for?

"Matvey… Please… I want to become one…" Canada saw it now, and as soon as he did he buried himself to the hilt.

Russia let out a loud moan and Canada could hardly keep himself from fucking him into the floor as he felt his ass trying to swallow more of him. Fuck Russia felt so good wrapped around his cock. Russia's nails were digging into Canada's back and his head was thrown back in absolute bliss, he had never felt so good in his long life, had never felt so whole. He didn't even know when he started talking but he heard himself begging for more, Canada gave it gladly, pounding into Russia and leaning down to suck on his neck again.

Canada could tell he wouldn't last long at this rate but fuck the noises Russia was making just made him want to go harder, Russia had his legs around Canada's back now and he could no longer contain his moans and screams of pleasure, who knew he would be such a vocal bottom? Canada never wanted it to end but as he felt himself nearing his peak he knew that he needed to finish Russia off first. He gripped Russia's cock and stroked it in time with his own frantic thrusts, Russia gripped his back harder and threw his head back, his whole body tensed up and spasmed as he was forced over the edge of bliss. He screamed a mix of Canada's name and sobs of pleasure as he came, the sticky cum covering Canada's hand and both their stomachs. Satisfied that Russia had cum first and overwhelmed by the feeling of his inner muscles fucking _milking_ his cock Canada let himself go, pounding into Russia's tight ass and losing control of his strength. Canada's hands were leaving bruises on Russia's hips and he leaned down to rest his forehead against the larger nation's chest, with one final thrust he came into Russia, filling him and listening to the moans that still escaped his lips.

They laid there for awhile, exhausted and covered in sweat, Canada was still inside of Russia when the older nation sat up, holding Canada close and pressing a tender kiss to his hair.

"I love you Matvey." Russia proclaimed, closing his eyes and shivering as Canada finally pulled out.

"Ya tebya lublu Ivan." Canada said back with a smile.


End file.
